if you’ve been made to serve the master

you’d be frightened by the hokum and be frightened by the night

"Without a vision the people perish" ~Proverbs 29:18 (KJV)

As I sit to write this month's Teller letter, I'm at a bit of a loss... 
After all, we just got through Christmas and Annual Meeting, now the real action won't start until Lent (beginning on March 5, with Ash Wednesday). February, it seems, will be something of a quiet month. 
With this break in the calendar, I found myself wondering what I should write about. Apparently, if there isn't something occupying all our time, there isn't anything to write about...
Stuck with this dilemma over what to write, I realized what I need to write about this month is the assumption behind my conundrum; that we always need to be doing something.

I worry we're addicted to being busy, that we always need to be doing something (even if what we're doing isn't really all that productive).
There are probably many reasons why we always feel we need to be doing something; these days our worth is tied to what we can do, we live in an anxious time, the economy is so difficult, et cetera. The truth, though, is that those reasons are mostly excuses... 
The real reason, I believe, we're so uncomfortable with those moments of quietness and stillness is because we're uncomfortable resting in God's grace.
We're uncomfortable resting in God's grace for any number of reasons; it isn't how the world works, we want to react to the goodness God has shown us, et cetera. The truth, however, is that those reasons are mostly excuses, too!
The real reason, I'm convinced, we're uncomfortable resting in God's grace is because it is hard to trust.

Truthfully, its a bit of a wonder its so hard for folks like us to trust. After all, many of our greatest insights come from those moments we let ourselves stop trying to fix the problem and rest, imagine & pray. 
For as much as we may like to pretend we're captaining the world and our very selves; the truth is we're all dependent upon God's grace every second of our lives. Considering all the ways God has cared, provided and loved us you'd think it'd be a bit easier to trust, to be still knowing God is our Lord (Psalm 46:10).
Given our tendency to doubt, though, trusting is harder than it should be...
So maybe the challenge for February is to take the quiet month as it comes. 
Perhaps February will be a month to reflect over Christmas, the Annual Meeting, Epiphany and prepare ourselves for Lent. Maybe this month will be an occasion to take some time to pray and imagine where God may be leading us in 2014. Perhaps February is a moment to catch our breath, and get ready for Lent, get ready for 2014. Maybe February is a time to take rest as it comes, to remind ourselves that everything is a gift from God, and to practice trust.

Come to think of it, this proverb we've started each letter with clearly says "Without a vision the people perish."
It doesn't say without hard-work the people perish, it doesn't say without determination the people perish; no it says without a vision the people perish. 
At the end of the day, although we can pray for God's vision and open ourselves to it, the vision is God's. That we are blessed to receive God's vision for us, our city and world; is just that, a blessing.
So then, may February be a time of discernment, a time of preparation, a time of rest, a time of prayer; a time, finally, of trust. May we be made uncomfortable, not by the workload, but by the moments of stillness before our gracious Lord. May February be a time of seeing that indeed, we may be still before The Lord; and may we, in that stillness, discern God's vision for us, our neighborhood, city and world.
Amen.