RoboPreacher

i wanna be open A sermon on wise King Solomon and all his folly : The LORD appears TO Solomon in a dream by night. And then, who knows why, offers Solomon carte blanche . Ask what I should GIVE you ,” ORDERS the Lord of heaven and earth. What would you do in such a situation? And keep in mind, your answer, like Solomon’s, will reveal a lot about you. Maybe more than you’d like. Turns out, more is at stake here than a mere windfall. Solomon doesn’t just stand to gain his heart’s desire. He also stands to reveal just what it is his heart really CHASES after. And when you consider it like that , it’s hard not to be at least a little grateful you weren’t in Solomon’s shoes, or should I say slippers, that night.   Solomon, though , was ready. When God came calling, Solomon stood tall . When he was offered what essentially amounted to a blank check, Solomon made the right decision. He could have had it all , BUT all he asked for was wisdom . Wisdom. So admirable is Solomon’s req...

on the body that i'm in when the put me in the ground A sermon on Nathan's sermon to King David : After putting it off for too long, we finally got around to moving the last remaining artifacts at old Trinity.   Although I must say, we’re still engaging in a bit of dithering . There remain artifacts that need to be claimed and relocated. We’re also probably trying to hold on to a few too many items that would be better left parted with in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection.   And I know it’s hard . But if you’ve been dragging your feet, I must tell you, the time is here . Say your goodbyes . Arrange a time to drop by old Trinity. Say some prayers . Give thanks . Reminiscence. Shed a tear . Claim an artifact. Take the one you claimed home, for heaven’s sake! Yes, this will bring up a lot of emotions —maybe some you’ve been trying to avoid . But trust me, you’ll be thankful you faced these feelings when the demolition forever turns that page in our history...

you make it worth it, to the end A sermon on Joshua's covenant rededication sermon : Can you even imagine something like today’s Scripture ever happening?!? It’d be like me finishing a sermon all about everything GOD has done for us, and then, before I could call the hymn, you ALL stood up . And before I could ask just what, in Sam Hill, you all thought you were doing, _________ said, “Pastor, you’re RIGHT. It’s high time we got off the fence and finally started acting like the Christians we should .”   BUT then, instead of congratulating you, I rebuffed you! I told you, you weren’t up for it! You weren’t cut out for following the Lord!   Can you imagine that?!? I can’t !   I mean, if, after the sermon, you all stood up in unison and said, “YOU convinced us, we’re ALL in,” I’d turn into a column of vapor and just float away! I’d call the presiding bishop and tell her I was the very first pastor in the history of the ELCA to ever complete the job! I’d retire ! ...

& the loser is the last to ask for help A sermon on the First word of the Ten Commandments : Let’s have a little participation . Shall we? Raise YOUR hand if you’re thinking, after that reading, about Charlton Heston in Cecil B. DeMille’s classic epic, The Ten Commandments?   * Go ahead. Raise your hands! It’s not a trick. I’m not going to put anyone on the spot.   What about this : Anyone whose never seen this movie???* Anyone whose never even heard of it?!? Ok. Who associates this passage with confirmation classes?* Are the memories good ?* …Are they bad ?* A little of both ?!?* And who here had to memorize the Commandments?* Does anyone still have them memorized?* *I know some of you do!   What’s the Fourth Commandment?* Here’s a clue ; it’s the first one on page 4. ( Honor your father and your mother ) Nice ! Alright, who knows the First Commandment?* I know some of you do! ( You shall have no other gods ). And who remembers what this commandment means ?* (W...