RoboPreacher

from the toenails to the crown A sermon on J oel's hard-boiled prophecy Unless you’re here to worship , and I mean really worship, you might as well save yourself the hassle and just go home . If you’re only here because “that’s what you do,” well, don’t . And if you turned up today because you think a little religion will do you or your family some good , the prophet Joel bids an unceremonious good riddance to all that bad business. No, the stakes today are much too high for any of that folderol . While we’re on it, you can take a hike if you’re not here to worship the God who really is God, too. If you’re here looking for a little help to manage your little middle-class life, you’ve come to the wrong place. And if all you want is some moral guidance , go somewhere else . Sorry, but the prophet Joel won’t have any truck with all that false religion. How’s that for throwing down the gauntlet ? Have I got your attention? I hope so. I hope I’ve got your attention because we’r...

but the hurt can't be this much The holy Gospel according to St. Luke the 4th chapter ! Today’s passage begins with so much promise . BUT in the space of a few short verses, it all ends so poorly . And here’s the thing, what sends the folks at Jesus’ home synagogue chasing him out of town is the very same thing that tempts us to try and push Jesus out of our own lives, too. …Jesus is well -received at his home synagogue. Everyone’s amazed at his gracious words. Yet , at the same time, they're also a little put off by them.   The crowd voices their misgivings by asking about Jesus’ parentage . “Is not this Joseph’s son,” they ask. An irony , since we know, he is the son of God .   With that , you begin to see the issue take shape. But only subtly so. This is why the stakes are raised so dramatically with Jesus' little Bible -study… Musing aloud, Jesus predicts the crowd is about to assume they have some sort of special benefits for themselves . After a...

well mister they vanish right into the air Final sermon from the Old Testament :  Before we hear our reading, I would like to set it up: It begins, of course, with old Sarah and Abraham. The two of them, trying to make a go of it in the wilderness. Without a child. When out of nowhere, God sends a messenger to those two with a promise. A promises that sounds too good to be true. God will send them offspring.  But not just a child. God promises to multiply their descendants. Even providing their descendants land to inhabit. God, the messenger says, is going to make these two ancestors of a great people! Old and childless though they may have been, God stayed faithful. In time sending them a child. And then, two grandchildren! And then, a gaggle of great-grandchildren! …Right when it began to look as if the promise made to Sarah and Abraham was about to be fulfilled, the grandchildren were at each other’s throats. Jacob’s brother sell him in to s...

or am i breathing underwater A Sermon on the book of Jonah : A a life-long Cubs fan, it’s great the club no longer lives under “the curse.” Truth be told, though, I never stayed up to watch the games. Not an inning, not even a pitch.  Perhaps it’s because being called to live in the church has given me something more interesting to do. Honestly, though, it’s because watching the chagrin of the Cardinal’s fans was even better .  Deep down, I love a little “ schadenfreude .” You know, that sweet joy of witnessing someone else get theirs.  As someone who constantly has little heathens like you throwing my words back in my face, I relish the chance to watch others wince as something they said comes back to bite them. Which why I just love this book of the prophet Jonah… Jonah. All we remember, though, is the whale, the big fish.  In confirmation every now and then, an inquisitive student will ask if it really happened, if Jonah was actuall...