RoboPreacher

from the toenails to the crown A sermon on J oel's hard-boiled prophecy Unless you’re here to worship , and I mean really worship, you might as well save yourself the hassle and just go home . If you’re only here because “that’s what you do,” well, don’t . And if you turned up today because you think a little religion will do you or your family some good , the prophet Joel bids an unceremonious good riddance to all that bad business. No, the stakes today are much too high for any of that folderol . While we’re on it, you can take a hike if you’re not here to worship the God who really is God, too. If you’re here looking for a little help to manage your little middle-class life, you’ve come to the wrong place. And if all you want is some moral guidance , go somewhere else . Sorry, but the prophet Joel won’t have any truck with all that false religion. How’s that for throwing down the gauntlet ? Have I got your attention? I hope so. I hope I’ve got your attention because we’r...

to being delivered for the first time A sermon on that time Abraham believed a whooper Did anyone have anything unusual happen this morning? For instance, did something surprising happen this morning? Or how about funny ? Did anyone have anything funny happen on your way here? Anyone? Well, shoot! I don’t have anything, either! It’s been a pretty humdrum morning for me. I was just asking because I was looking for a little comic relief . But I guess we’ve all had a relatively normal day so far. Haven’t we? They’re not all typical, though. Are they? No, the truth is, the uncommon is relatively common. Our lives are awash in a sea of change . And while that change can be welcome , just as often, it’s not . Those are the tough times. Aren’t they? It’s no laughing matter when change comes unplanned or unwelcomed . When that happens, our neat and tidy little lives are thrown on their heads . It puts our past into question and makes the future a threat . Now, I could give examples o...

been so afraid of everything / i need a chance to be reborn  A sermon on the so-called "fall" Are you ready ?!?   Well? Are you?!?   Folks, just sitting there isn’t exactly the hearty “yes” I was hoping for! But I get it. I know it’s Sunday morning . I’m sure you’re a little groggy . And I bet you just want to sit there like a bump on a log, too!   You know what? You’re not going to get off that easily ! Sorry! No, you’re going to have to participate a little this morning!   Because I’m feeling extra punchy , it’s not one of those subjective questions you can just answer with whatever idea pops into your pretty little head, either! No, you’re going to have to put in some work ! You’re going to have to think ! This question has a right and wrong answer. Fun. Right?   Wow. If your first response was half-hearted, I think the other half of your heart must have just died on the line! But don’t worry. This isn’t a trick question. In fact, I’m going to s...