RoboPreacher

dependent, undisciplined, sleeping late A sermon on Daniel in the lions' den for the first Sunday of Advent : Today we begin Advent. And know this: we won’t be finished with this season until its last day , like it or not. Sorry, but you’re stuck . Christmas won’t be coming early this year… In fact, when the hymn committee met; I straightened my tie, put on my most serious face, and laid it out: Absolutely NO Christmas hymns until after this season. You can’t ’get out of it. This Advent, you’re stuck . You won’t be freed of this season’s expectations until the Eve of Christmas. At the earliest .  Well, okay . It wasn’t exactly like that.  In fact, one of the things I most love about you all, is you don’t clamor for the Christmas songs until due time. You seem to be a people who feel at home in this season. A people who find comfort in this season. Which is just as well, today . Today it’ll help you relate to Daniel. To hear this scripture as mor...

it surrounds you and sighs and is whispering of  A sermon from the scroll of Jeremiah : In the fourth month of our exchange student’s arrival, she asked, as I typed up a sermon, if I ever felt “ out of ideas .” If I ever felt out of ideas?!? “Oh, If you only knew!” I said, exasperated . “You should see what I have to contend with! The tyrants I have to try and keep amused, to keep from openly revolting!” Of course I feel out of ideas … Especially when all I get from scripture, is a story like this ; the “ riveting ” tale of how this story came about. The “ high-drama ” of this collection of Jeremiah’s prophecies. This story, about a story . This book, about a book ! …I mean, c’mon! What am I supposed to do with that ? How is that ever going to compete with the smartphones nearly all of you have in pockets. All the cat-videos you have at your fingertips, just begging for your attention?!? If it has to come from a book at all, please let th...

of the lies that you speak A sermon on Isaiah : Once a month, around noon, on a Wednesday; a few of us do a very brave thing. We. Choose. A. New. Hymn(!)… Of which, worry not, I inevitable hear about… Now it used to drive me bonkers! ‘Lighten up, you old sticks in the mud,’ I’d think. I’ve come to learn, though , that your apprehension to new hymns is actually faithful . Now look, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m not about to use the sermon to commend the likes of you . In scripture today we hear about the prophet, Isaiah going to church.  Now, when we hear the word “prophet,” we imagine the likes of John the Baptist, unkept, living out in the desert. Isaiah, though, was probably far more ordinary .  He’s from a good family. His great-grandfather’s name was undoubtedly on the church-charter. His mom was the Shabbat-school superintendent. In confirmation his attendance was perfect. His rabbi, more than likely, had the boy pegged for se...

or am i breathing underwater A Sermon on the book of Jonah : A a life-long Cubs fan, it’s great the club no longer lives under “the curse.” Truth be told, though, I never stayed up to watch the games. Not an inning, not even a pitch.  Perhaps it’s because being called to live in the church has given me something more interesting to do. Honestly, though, it’s because watching the chagrin of the Cardinal’s fans was even better .  Deep down, I love a little “ schadenfreude .” You know, that sweet joy of witnessing someone else get theirs.  As someone who constantly has little heathens like you throwing my words back in my face, I relish the chance to watch others wince as something they said comes back to bite them. Which why I just love this book of the prophet Jonah… Jonah. All we remember, though, is the whale, the big fish.  In confirmation every now and then, an inquisitive student will ask if it really happened, if Jonah was actuall...

you're on my side again A sermon on Elijah & the widow; 1 Kings 17:1-16 : On any given Sunday you leave the bills on the counter, the to-do list undone , get the family in the car and head off to church.  On any given Sunday, with more prayer requests than you can keep straight and all the predictions of destruction the radio blared on your way in, the pastor climbs up in the pulpit and tells you something like, ‘Do not be afraid.’ Really? Don’t be afraid? Here you are, doing everything you can just to tread water, and the pastor tries to tell you something like ‘don’t be afraid.’ All you can think is, “how can he dare to say something like that to me ?” As scripture says, there’s nothing new under the sun. In 1 Kings 17, the great prophet Elijah begins his career. The Bible doesn't have a lot to say about him. Just that the word of the Lord came to him instead of anyone else, and told him to go and pick a fight with a king that was as wick...

when the sky is big enough A sermon from  II Samuel 7:1-17 : Have you ever given someone a gift, only to have them take it the wrong way? Because that’s what happens in scripture today. They say it’s the ‘thought that counts,’ but sometimes it’s the thought -or lack thereof- that makes for trouble… Sitting on his throne, sheltered from the sun and wind, King David’s thoughts turn to God.  As they do … Here he is, put up quite nicely . But the ark of God, sits out in a tent ! Exposed to all the elements! Now King David just won’t accept that. It isn’t fitting. He hatches a plans to build a house for God. To put the big guy up in style… Instead of being thankful, though; the Lord is incensed !  That very night the word of the Lord comes to Nathan, putting the divine kibosh on King David’s plans. “Are you the one to build me a house,” God challenges. God puts it bluntly, “after all we’ve been through, have I ever asked for a house?” ...