you have to learn how to die

if you want to want to be alive

The 22nd proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

Alright, well you just got 16… er, 15 proverbs, straight in a row!

And it’s a lot, isn’t it? It’s a bit like trying to take a sip of water from a waterfall. 

…But, I suspect after feeling overwhelmed, you’ll start to feel another way…

To help you experience this, let me describe a person with the qualities these proverbs extol:

They’re more interested in their character than their bank account. They’re not too big for their britches. They don’t court danger. And they’re modest, despite all they’ve accomplished. 

Their children are enrolled in all the extra-curriculars, and they even learned how they’re teaching math now, so they can help for their kids study. 

They don’t have credit-card debt. They’re not spiteful. They’re benevolent. They choose their company carefully. They’re kind in what they say and do. They’re well-informed. They don’t make excuses. When you correct them, they thank you! And, they make sure everyone is treated fairly…

So, how are you feeling now? A bit like you don’t measure up? The way you do after spending too much time on facebook, comparing yourself to all the super-moms and overachievers out there?

…The temptation when it comes to reading Proverbs, is to read them as a measuring stick. Who measure’s up, and who doesn’t. And usually, we don’t.

But, to read Proverbs like that, is to go down a never-ending rabbit hole!

Because the person I just described, they don’t exist! They never have, and never will! Perfect PTA moms and exemplary employees are not real! 

Underneath that projection of perfection we cast onto them, they’re no different than the rest of us; struggling with the same imperfections and insecurities as we all do!

…But, so long as you read Proverbs like a measuring stick, you’ll never be able to see that!

It’s like this woman whose memoir I’m reading. Her big struggles is with confidence. There’s a part in the book, when things are getting better, and admits to her boyfriend she afraid that all the years of her self-doubt have ruined the relationship.

Then something surprising happens. He starts to cry. He tells her all the ways her fear has hurt him! 

She admits she had never thought about that. “Honestly,” she says, “it had never occurred to me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it stunned me. I’d always assumed his assurance.”

When we read Proverbs like a measuring stick, we read them like that! Unable to see past our own insecurities!

So pay attention: Proverbs are not for perfect people! Because perfect people don’t exist! And Proverbs are for real people! People who have learned, the hard way, they’re not perfect. People who need help. Who need advice. Who need guidance. 

So, if you’re not perfect. If you’re in need of help. If you heard a proverb or two, and thought, “I wish I were more like that;” then you’re just the kind of person Proverbs is for!

…You’ll notice there’s one proverb that’s conspicuously absent. And this will be all I say about it, but a proverb doesn’t get coined unless it’s addressing an existing problem!

You understand?!? 

Proverbs didn’t get composed to address hypothetical problems! They got repeated because they addressed a problem that got repeated!

We can’t say this enough; Proverbs aren’t for perfect people! They're for real people. People who have messed up! People who can’t trust their own instincts! People who are struggling!

And doesn’t that sound like you? I know it sounds like me. 

After all, here we are, again. No better off than we were last week. Needing just as much help today as we did yesterday. 

Our best wisdom regularly fails. And we wind up at the doors of the church, desperate for something else…

…But, before we get to that wisdom, let’s dispel a little more foolishness! Because no sooner do we admit perfect people don’t exist, than we start imagining another kind of imaginary people! People on the way to perfection! 

Which is still just reading Proverbs like a measuring stick. Out of of blinding insecurity.

The twin-temptation is to read Proverbs as a self-help manual. A guide to becoming a super-mom or riding the fast-track to success. And all that’ll do is lead you down that same, old rabbit hole!

Proverbs are not for perfect people, because they don’t exist! And, neither are they for those on the path to perfection! Because they don’t exist, either!

How many times have you learned some lesson the hard way. But then, when it comes time to act on that lesson, you fell back right in to those same, old, destructive habits?

We all do. 

That’s why we can’t climb the ladder to godliness. Why the real life path of faith happens on the plains of reality!

Proverbs are for real people, living real lives! That’s why you can’t graduate from Proverbs! They’re memorizable so you can come back to them again and again! Because real people will need to!

If life in the church has taught me anything, it’s to be suspicious of the false proverb, “once you know better, you do better.” Because we know better. Don’t we? Yet, we don’t seem to be doing better!

Blessedly, Proverbs isn’t trying to make you better. It’s offering words to cling to, when when yours are only going to make matters worse! 

…Which, let’s face it, is more often than not.

Truthfully, Proverbs has been trying to say as much, too. It’s just that we’re so addicted to these fictional stories of perfect PTA moms and exemplary employees, that we can’t hear past our own insecurities!

You can even see how even our translators are susceptible!

The fourth proverb in today’s scripture, really hammers down on what the proverbs revolve around; fear of the Lord, and it’s sister humility…

Here’s how our scripture translates the Hebrew: “The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life.” 

But, that only works so long as you interpret the Hebrew word as humility, and not humiliated. Which is what it clearly means…

There’s a big difference between those two words, too. Isn’t there? Humility is a virtue you can exercise, whereas humiliation is something that happens.

Here’s an interpretation that does better: The consequence of a humbling is fear of the Lord—wealth, honor and life. 

Hear the difference? The proverb isn’t about a reward for good behavior, it’s about what happens after a good humbling…

The myth of super moms and exemplary employees says we’ll get close to God, once we nip our vices in the bud. But that’s not REAL life! And the thing about Proverbs is, it’s for real people! Real people, living real lives!

Proverbs makes the observation that looks foolish, but to the upside-down wisdom of God is really true: God draws closest to us when we feel furthest off!

Being humbled is a gift. A gift no one wants, but still a gift.

True humility is not a virtue. It’s not a disciple. It isn’t something you can exercise. True humility is something that happens. The path of real life. 

Proverbs are not for the fictional days when you stand at the finish line. They for the real days when you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again…

Which, in real life, is most of the time. Isn’t it?

We come here confessing, “I messed up, again.” We come here, humbled. 

So, now that you’ve been humbled, receive the consequences! 

Now that you know how life really goes, you have the freedom to live real LIFE!

What’s more, now you know you need to rely on God, or HONOR God. 

Best of all, though, now you have the full WEALTH of God’s mercy to carry you along as you try to do both those things!

Because you’ll need it…

And now, having all that; let us do something that seems foolish, but it truly wise. Let us give thanks for those times and places we were humbled. For it was there, and there alone, we learned fear of the Lord.