i couldn't
though i'm beginning to
In today’s scripture, the prophet Joel asks you to bring something difficult to worship…
And no, he’s not talking about money or spending that rare free evening on some joyless committee bickering about the color of the sanctuary carpet. No, Joel is talking about something much harder to bring to worship; your heart. Your heart as it really is. And all of it, too. Cracks and all…
And we have no shortage of things that break our heart THESE days. Do we? Loved ones we can’t visit. Loved ones who have died. Trips that have been canceled. Holiday gatherings that have been called off. And that’s just the low hanging fruit. Isn’t it? I’m sure you could easily add to this list yourself…
Tragically, those “broken hearts and dirty windows that make life difficult to see," to quote John Prine (RIP), are a fact of life. And yet, despite this fact, when it comes to worship, we think WE need to mend our hearts first. Or, at the very least, hide their fault lines. Lest we offend the pious among the congregation.
Well, in today’s scripture, the prophet Joel declares good riddance to all that bad theology!
Now, the truth is, the church does have some share in the blame for the sorry state of affairs. But not all of it. That cult of positivity out there that insists EVERYTHING must be good and all the time, too, doesn’t help us bring our whole hearts to God. Much less ourselves. Does it?
And that’s not the only place to lay blame. Is it? The truth is, the problem goes even deeper. The truth is, those attempts to deny the fact WE’RE brokenhearted have found a welcome home in our OWN broken hearts.
So deep does our aversion to acknowledging OUR own broken hearts go that I nearly didn’t mention the mere possibility of canceled Christmas parties!
We hate to admit our hearts have breaks. We hate to admit it to others and even to ourselves. So is it any wonder we try and leave our broken hearts at the sanctuary door?
…The prophet Joel, though, will have none of that!
“Return to the Lord with all your heart,” he tells us. And that includes fasting, yes. But not because Joel’s prescribing some sort of discipline. Joel mentions fasting because he describing! He’s describing what it’s really like to be brokenhearted.
And on those days you don’t need anyone telling you to fast. Do you? No, quite the opposite. On those days, you need to be told to eat because you can’t bring yourself to take nourishment.
And yet, declares the prophet, even on those days, the Lord still wants all of you! “Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning…”
Did Joel say anything about pristine hearts? No! And neither did he say anything about remodeled, rehabbed, or rebuilt hearts! No, Joel just tells you to bring all your heart to God! Your whole heart as it really is, breaks and all—with all the mourning and weeping that come along with it.
“Rend your hearts NOT your clothing,” says the prophet.
Sunday best, as it’s called, is not your finest duds. It’s what you wear when your heart is broken: Like pajamas all day, the same shirt from last night, or the one with the sleeve that’s stained from all the tears.
In fact, if you’re watching at home, your Sunday best is probably whatever you’re wearing right now. The clothes you wear when you’re not trying to impress anyone. Because you can’t impress anyone. Because your heart is too broken.
And that, that is what Joel tells you God is after!
You really are ready for worship, right now! Life in the time of COVID and all. Broken heart and all.
We’re afraid to show those broken parts because we worry if someone sees them, maybe they won’t love us anymore.
But we’ve been so busy trying to whip up love, we’ve forgotten how it’s stirred! Love doesn’t happen once you’ve made yourself lovable. In fact, that’s a fine way never to experience true love. No, real love happens when you find you’ve been love! That you are loved! And loved all along, too! Loved even when YOU can’t love yourself because your own heart was too broken.
Beloved, you are loved. God is love. And God has loved you all along. All the way from the foundation of the very world!
This love of God loved you into existence out of nothing. And this love of God has gone on loving you into your continued existence, right now! Why this love of God will keep loving you even when your broken heart beats its last. Then, this love of God will love you all the way into ETERNITY, too!
God is not afraid of those broken places in your life! Not in your past. Not in your present. And not even in the future, for that matter. For they have all been covered with the love of God poured out in Jesus Christ!
“Then afterward I will pour out my spirit on all flesh,” declares the Lord!
And right before that punchline, the prophet Joel tells us God’s people will never again be put to shame. But this isn’t because life will no longer break your heart. It’s because now you have somewhere to place your broken heart, somewhere to put the shame that would keep you from coming to the Lord… Tuck it away in Jesus’ wounded side! He died to take away anything that might separate you from the love of God! (Rom. 8:31-39)
When God tells you to bring your whole heart, God means it! God can handle whatever’s on your heart, whatever’s breaking it apart.
And when that promise mends your heart that’s been rent asunder, then you will sing along with the psalmist those famous words of the 51st Psalm: “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
And if you can sing along with that psalm, well, then you’re as ready for worship as they come!
It’s Advent. “O Come, O Come Emanuel.”
Hang in there. You’re ready. All this brokenness is the stuff of worship—the raw material for a truly holy Advent. The sacrifice God can’t keep away from. The rocky path of holy ground.
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