& i don't know how you managed

to wake me up & come alive

Reflecting on the Holy Spirit Paul says in Galatians 4:1-17:

Today is Pentecost. Oftentimes, we call this day the Church’s birthday. Over the course of last year, though, I’ve come to realize that’s not very helpful. For one thing, the Emmaus encounter in Luke 24 is probably the first gathering of what we call the church. For another, calling Pentecost the birthday of the church tempts us to treat the miracle of this day as a thing of the past.

Pentecost is not a bygone event we remember. Pentecost is a miracle we expect. Pentecost is not something that happened somewhere out there, a long time ago. Pentecost is an ever-present happening that is taking place right here and right now among us. 

After all, isn’t that what’s going on at this very moment? Isn’t every worship service something of a miracle? Think about it; with everything else going on, it’s astonishing anyone would bother making time to get to church. Yet, week after week, that’s precisely what happens! And the reason this happens is not that we’ve gotten ourselves here by our own steam. We’re here because we’ve been brought here by the breath of the Holy Spirit.

When it comes to human development, the goal is more and more independence. What makes a mature human being is a differentiated one. Human development, though, is something of a natural process. Faith, on the other hand, isn’t. 

Faith is the miraculous interruption of God’s good intention into our lives. And for as surprising as this interruption is, and it is—that’s why we call it grace. What’s really surprising is the direction God points our lives in. Instead of guiding us toward more and more self-reliance, God undermines it. The real power God gives us isn’t the power to stand on our own two feet. The real power God gives us is the power to call upon God when the rug’s been pulled out from underneath us. 

This is what Paul is talking about when he says, “God has sent the Spirit of his Son INTO our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’” The miracle of faith is that utterance that comes out of you, as if from nowhere at all, to call upon God. Because the truth is, that part of you that cries out for God when you’re at your most helpless isn’t your own. That cry for help is Jesus’ very Spirit, put within you at baptism, crying out from your own heart! 

…Let me tell you who I’ve wrestled with, and lost to, this miracle. In my senior year of high school, I was burning the candle at both ends. Waking up early for practice and staying out late with friends. One night when I was driving home, I must have drifted off. 

The next thing I knew, I woke up to the roar of my car careening through the ditch toward a field of corn. Instinctively, I yanked the wheel the other direction and cried out something I’ll never forget. Without thinking, welling up from within me out of nowhere at all, I blurted out, “help me, God.”

Well, I over-corrected and went over the road into the other ditch. I had to call my folks to come and get me, but I was okay. And my car was even somewhat drivable afterward. Although, I never did repay that poor farmer. Even though I knew the family. My guilt was too much to bring it up. 

What I really harbored guilt over, though, was crying out to God at that moment. I carried around this baggage that I suspect many of us do. This misguided notion that we don’t deserve to call upon God until we’ve prayed enough first. The crazy idea that we can’t ask anything of God until we’ve put in the hours. As if prayer were a bank, that you must deposit enough in before you can make a withdraw. 

This thought, though, it is not faithful. It may be how many other relationships work. But it’s not how God works. In fact, if anything, that cry that came out of my lips when I was most afraid wasn’t mine. It was Jesus’. It was a cry that can only come from utter intimacy and trust. Something I didn’t and still don’t have on my own. But is mine on account of Christ. And is your’s, too.

What makes the Holy Spirit holy is that it’s not OUR spirit! And the way you can tell the Holy Spirit isn’t our spirit is that it leads us to do something we would never do on our own. The Holy Spirit doesn’t bolster us to run on our own steam. The Holy Spirit empowers us to call upon God when we run out of breath. 

That last gasp of self-sufficiency you’ve taken so many times before has actually been the first breath of that fresh air of faith! All those times you couldn’t help but cry out to God have really been the times the Holy Spirit was at work in you most powerfully! Crying out most loudly! A developed faith is one that’s strong enough to confess its own weakness. 

This year has been challenging. But it’s that very difficulty that’s made this year such a hotbed for the Holy Spirit! All those times you’ve been driven to your wit’s end, you’ve really been brought to the beginning to faith! That's why we call it grace! You’ve been expecting “y,” and instead, you get “z.” And “z” is so much better. 

All that self-sufficiency we thought religion would help us gain is over-rated. The grave makes a mockery of it every time. But God has something so much better in store for you, anyway! The power of the Holy Spirit isn’t the ability to get up from whatever life throws your way. The power of the Holy Spirit is the power to cry to God when you can’t stand on your own anymore. 

This power, it hasn’t failed yet. And it’s not about to start now. It’s what’s gotten you here today. And it’s what’s at work within you now, clutching these words. Hanging on them. Trusting them. Daring to hope they may be true for you. Because, by the power of that Holy Spirit, they are! This faith, this hope, it is not your own. It is the power of the Holy Spirit at work in you! Giving you faith you could not come by on your own.

And that, that is why we observe Pentecost today. Not because it happened once upon a time. But because it’s happening right here. Right now. Among you. And among me. 

This is this miracle. Breathe it in. It’s Jesus’ very Spirit within you confessing your helplessness and strengthening you to calling upon God for help. It’s nothing less than Pentecost taking place within the four walls of your heart. Right now.  

Breathtaking, isn’t it?